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I had every intention to take apart Peter King's MMQB this week but I've been staring at it for more than a day now and I just do not have the energy (I lead the league in half-assing!). Well, I actually did start but eventually I gave up midway through it all. (Quasy Houston Texans-esque!).
My colleagues are also noticing that I'm not being very productive today...
Colleague: Hey Dave, you're not looking so good today. Didn't get enough sleep last night? Dave: Nope. I spent the night doing Google searches for dogs that have horrible comb overs. Colleague: I want to fight you now. Dave: Bring it, Alice!
Either way, it was a shitty football weekend as Miami's play-off hopes were basically crushed by Ryan fucking Fitzpatrick. See, if you let Ryan Fitzpatrick run for a 31-yard touchdown in a game that is basically a must win, you have no business even fantasizing about the play-offs. That's all I'm going to say about that.
And what a great move from the Bills to score that last Fred Jackson touchdown with under a minute and a half left when they already had a 10 point lead and Miami was out of time-outs. GO GET FUCKED BUFFALO! (Watching that debacle while Steve Tasker openly rooted for the Bills took about 7 years off of my life)
Also, now that the Pats got their asses handed to them by the Saints last night, how many points will Belichick have his guys score against Miami next week just so that they feel better about themselves? 40? 50? 93? Awesome. I can't wait. It wouldn't even surprise me if Brady played the game fully naked, just so that his testicles can sway freely in the wind, without any restrictions or discomfort.
Fantasy Team Update That Will Only Put Me In A Shittier Mood
Team Moneyline Loser went down again this week and I'm 8-4 now on the season (This is the week you choose to score two touchdowns Maroney?? Go choke on semen!). That's 3 losses in the past 5 weeks and I'm suddenly feeling very awkward and insecure about myself, just like that time I was assaulted by that angry Manatee that just lost his job.
* image courtesy of Fail Dogs
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