Team Moneyline Loser bounced back nicely last week after losing for the first time this year. Aaron Rodgers, Marques Colston and DeAngelo Williams combined to outscore my opponent's entire team but that is a little misleading since he started Papa Smurf, the kid who played McLovin in Superbad and a paralyzed hedgehog who likes classical music.

I'm 5-1 now while also leading the league in scoring and by the looks of it, I should be 6-1 after this week. I'm not saying that because I'm an arrogant douche that needs to be punched in the face (which I may or may not be), but my opponent seems to have 4 guys on bye-weeks and it doesn't seem like he's going to set his roster. HOLY CRAP, THAT GUY IS HARDCORE. HE CARES EVEN LESS THAN ME!

I could make a joke about how I'll probably lose anyways but the point is that I don't give a flying fuck remember? You might think that I say that I don't give a damn about my fantasy team because it's just a pathetic way of safeguarding myself against the inevitable failure, but I'd like to think that I'm edgy and cool. I'M EDGY AND COOL YOU HEAR ME!! I DON'T CARE IF I WIN OR LOSE! I WEAR ABERCROMBIE & FITCH!

Jokes aside though, I am really liking the fact that I'm having my best season (so far) after applying my own "just wing it" theory. That theory has always been that fantasy sports will gently have intercourse with you, without your consent, if you act like Joe Giradi over-manage and obsess over every single detail.

I know that luck or whatever the hell you want to call it (see owners of Brady, Tom in '08) also plays a pretty big role but if you are sweating it because you can't decide between starting Donald Brown or Chester Taylor, then you might as well pick up knitting as a hobby because you are going down Alice.That's just how it works. The Fantasy Gods don't want you to be happy. THEY WANT YOU TO PRAY FOR A QUICK AND PAINLESS DEATH. If you shrug your shoulders and look uninterested, they'll find some other schmuck to bully. Serves the bastard right for actively trying to improve his team. He can go get fucked.

Oh, you know who sucks at fantasy football as well? Peter King, that's who. Fuck him and fuck the Montclair Wombats. Look at that team he assembled with his greasy fingers. He used his 8th overall pick to pass over Brian Westbrook (when he used to be awesome) to pick a rookie running back NOT NAMED ADRIAN PETERSON.

He also picked a guy who got released before the season even started (DeDe Dorsey), thought that rookie Ted Ginn Jr. could score 10 TD's and picked a kicker while there were still 6 rounds left.

SI's leading football writer in action folks. Like clockwork....

* image courtesy of I-Am-Bored