Yay, what a great weekend. C.J. Spiller treated my Hurricanes like a used tampon and then I got treated to the Miami Dolphin special; Blowing a 21 point lead at home when you're leading the league in rushing and are supposed to have a decent defense. TEAMS THAT LEAD THE LEAGUE IN RUSHING CAN NOT BLOW 21 POINT LEADS AT HOME!

I really don't know which one infuriates me more, the Saints game or the Colts game back in week 2 on Monday Night. But whatever,  fuck Miami's gaping defense, fuck Reggie Bush and fuck Jay Glazer for prematurely tweeting our win. GO GET FUCKED JAY. Save tweets like that for when the Jets are sucking cock winning.

Either way, let's see what Sir Craps-A-Lot has for us today.....

1. That, readers, was a Steelers Sunday right there.

That, readers, was Brett Favre being Brett Favre. It's the reason why Vikings fan have been shitting their pants from pure fear since he joined the team.

The Steelers have had 40, 50, who knows how many, of these games over the years.

No, don't use all of the stats and resources that you have at your disposal as SI's leading football writer to figure that out for us. Please, we read your column because we hate our lives we want to see if you ever make it into the NY Times crossword puzzle.

This is one dangerous two-loss team if the Steelers can keep it up.

Who knew that the defending champs - who returned almost their entire team - would be a contender down the road...

One other thing about the Cowboys: Is it just me, or do they look like they're having more fun on offense? Maybe that comes from winning. But the enthusiasm of mighty-mite Austin is contagious. It's amazing how much can get done when no one cares who gets the credit.

Ah yes. The Cowboys offense is having more fun. Brett Favre is just a kid out there, having fun. Tony Romo leads the league in smiles. The Falcons lead the league in anonimity. Matt Schaub leads the league in normalcy. Wes Welker leads the league in grit. Peter King leads the league in colonicshotel boycottshorrible columns crossword puzzle shout outs.

7. Get ready for Brett Favre Hype Week.

Isn't every week Brett Favre Hype Week?

1. New Orleans (6-0). Thirty-six points in the second half on the road. Did you get that? Thirty-six. That's almost as many Viagra/Cialis commercials you see in an average Sunday. When FOX scanned the Miami bench with 40 seconds left, the players looked like 36 trucks had just run them over.

They looked like they just read your new book.

3. Denver (6-0). Take one young coach and one old safety. Add water, two eggs, three cups of flour, and you have yourself a championship cake.

YES, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW THEY'RE DOING IT! Take note NFL, Peter King has a winning reciepe for you right here!

I'd like to thank two people -- Len Pasquarelli of ESPN and Mark Godich of Sports Illustrated -- for talking some sense into me over the past couple of years. Pasquarelli told me to stop naming so many players and coaches and goats of the week, and I said, OK, I'll think about it. Then, after last week, when I had six players sharing offensive and defensive honors, Godich, a former editor of mine at the magazine, e-mailed to tell me I was a foolish ninny, or words to that effect. They're right, of course. I'm going with a max of two in each category the rest of the way, and I'm going to try to keep it to one per category each week. Because I know how meaningful these ritzy awards are to the players and coaches involved.

I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that you actually wrote "foolish ninny" or that it took 2 people a couple of years to finally convince you that you were being a stupid dick. Amazing. SI's leading football writer and published author folks..

MVP Watch

1. Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis. The shame of the NFL: Manning doesn't throw for 300. First time all year -- and the Colts still win by 35 points.

They played the fucking Rams. Jim Sorgi could have started and they would have still won by 25.

Indianapolis won at St. Louis Sunday. In its past 19 games, Indianapolis is 17-2 and St. Louis is 2-17.

These are the stats that matter folks. Hard hitting stuff...

Aggravating/Enjoyable Travel Note of the Week

If you traverse this great land, you know the difference between gum-chewers and gum-poppers. Chewers are barely audible. Poppers somehow make a snapping sound with each chew. Know what I'm talking about? It's madness, I tell you.

On Saturday, about 30 minutes into the Boston-to-New York Acela trip, I found myself sitting in front of a gum-popper. Across the aisle in the quarter-full car were two silent Kindle readers. Behind me, with his Bose headphones silencing all the noise in the car (including his gum-chewing), was the nearly rhythmic snap-pause-snap-pause-snap of the clueless gum-popper. I had three choices: ignore it and go on with my typing, tell the guy to please stop popping, or move to the opposite end of the car.

I moved. Gum-popping, I think, is one of the truly annoying things that we just have to put up with. Like the 35 erectile-dysfunction drug commercials per Sunday.

WHAT'S WITH PEOPLE NOWADAYS?? First I have to put up with tourists who take pictures in New York and now people that chew/pop gum on the Acela?? YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM ME ACELA!! YOU MIGHT HAVE A PETER KING BOYCOTT ON YOUR HANDS!!

Tweet of the Week

"My father played for the coach from 'rememeber the titans.' Our coach played golf. My father played for redskins briefley. Our coach. Nuthn."

-- @ToonIcon, Kansas City RB Larry Johnson, on Sunday evening, in what is possibly one of the least intelligent Tweets in athletic history. I'm talking about the content, not the spelling.

First, it's emotional, done in the heat of the aftermath of a disastrously one-sided loss to the Chargers. Second, it's a shot at a coach who's given Johnson a tremendous chance this year (Adrian Peterson touches: 156; Johnson touches: 144). Third: How does Johnson think this isn't going to be become public knowledge?

Before this, I thought Johnson was a smart guy.

Peter King might be the only person on earth who used to think that Larry Johnson is smart...

2. I think, Jeff Fisher, that 0-6 is no time to fool around with wearing a Peyton Manning jersey with cameras present. This isn't a fireable offense by any means, and owner Bud Adams should retain Fisher barring a ridiculous breakdown of team authority and discipline. This just struck me as over the top and wrong.

Not as wrong as stealing a baseball from a little kid and then spending two weeks argueing why you didn't do anything wrong and why the kid deserved it.

a. One good sign (and there aren't many) for Steve Spagnuolo in St. Louis: Danny Amendola can play. He's a good returner and Welker-esque receiver.

He's quasy Julian Edelman...

g. Best sign for the Jets: Mark Sanchez playing with confidence.

He played against the fucking Raiders.

k. The Jets had two runners over 120 on the road, which is great ... until you realize it came against the Raiders. How the Raiders can follow an inspired 13-9 win over Philly, a team just as good as the Jets, with a 38-point loss to the Jets is beyond me. Very poor tackling by the Raiders Sunday.

I'll spell it out for you. THEY ARE THE FUCKING R A I D E R S.

l. Sidney Rice is flowering with Favre throwing him the ball.

Is that the same as blossoming??

c. Call me 112 Across.

I'll call you an assbag. Go get fucked.

Anyway, the King-themed puzzle clogged up a blog run by crossword aficionado Rex Parker in New York, eliciting comments like: "This puzzle is about the weirdest thing I've seen in the NYT. It's like a love letter to one guy. Why anyone else should care, I don't know. If you wanna put the guy in a puzzle, just put him in a puzzle. No need to beatify him like this.''

And from 'Meg': "I did not have a negative reaction to this puzzle. Actually, I feel kind of sorry for the guy. I mean, if your goal in life is to be mentioned in a puzzle ... So I felt like BEQ was doing this poor sot a favor more than showing adulation.''

And this: "For Peter King's egomania to be rewarded so laboriously is icky.'' And this: "Build it around a Winston Churchill quote, or even someone alive and not nearly as famous. But a blowhard sportswriter -- with a Brett Favre infatuation -- who has his share of critics?''

And, finally, this: "It doesn't matter how well known Peter King or the quote is or how much Peter King likes Brett Favre, who I've despised from the beginning of his career for a lot of reasons, one of which is that he's supposedly a 'blue collar' player on a 'blue collar' team. That drives me nuts! Do people think the players on these 'blue collar' teams all go to offseason jobs at the brewery or the steel mill? The Canton Bulldogs haven't played in years. Now that was a blue-collar team. The Packers and the Steelers get their players from the same places all the other teams do. Also, that stupid fiction everybody subscribes to that somehow the northern teams play better in the cold. Most of their players grew up in Houston! Auugh! I can't stand Brett Favre! Don Meredith, now there was a quarterback.''

Aaah, the crossword crowd. Anyway, thanks for the highlight, Brendan.

Does that paint a clear picture or do we need to call in Len Pasquarelli and Mark Godich? NOBODY CARES ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS! YOU ARE A FOOTBALL WRITER. WRITE ABOUT FUCKING FOOTBALL AND KEEP IT AT THAT. NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT THE STUPID SHIT YOU GO THROUGH.

e. Coffeenerdness: I'll tell you what we need in midtown Manhattan -- a Starbucks open until midnight on Sundays. As my MacBook Air expired Sunday, I had 4,500 forlorn words for MMQB written, but they were locked in the snowy vault of the white screen. Uh-oh. Screwed. So I went about recalling everything and rewriting everything, miserably, with only green tea and deli coffee as strong as a dying housecat. I needed something to kick in around 5 this morning. What's the closest Starbucks to Rockefeller Center with late Sunday hours?

You know what I need? To stop reading about your coffee needs....