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It's Monday morning, it's early, I'm cranky and while I have tons of shit to do, I'm intrigued at what Peter King has to offer today.
You know, I'm not even going to thoroughly read it. I'm just going to skim and see how fast I can spot the drivel this time around...
* opens up Monday Morning Quarterback *
Hmmmm....oh, here we are. That took less than two minutes.
Someone has to sign kicker Brandon Coutu, who never misses. Thought he might have a chance to unseat Olindo Mare, but Seattle went safe there. Seahawks also cut three receivers who played for them last year.
Wow, Brandon Couto might be the best kicker of all time! HE NEVER MISSES. He's the Derek Jeter of kickers! How dumb must the Seahawks be to cut a kicker WHO NEVER MISSES??
* Checks Brandon Couto's stats*
While at the University of Georgia, Couto was lifetime 53 out of 66. Although he did have 3 field goals over 50 yards and one of 58 yards, he still missed 13 kicks. By the looks of it, he also didn't attempt a field goal last season when he was a rookie. Yup, Brandon Couto has never missed a kick in the NFL, because HE HAS YET TO ATTEMPT A FIELD GOAL AS A PRO. Someone sign this man right now!!
Hmmm...what else do we have here....
* Continues to search *
2. WiFi. My first Internet-on-the-airplane experience -- $5.95 for a two-hour, 30-minute segment from Dallas to Baltimore. Not sure long-term whether that's a good thing or bad. Got a lot of net-surfing stuff done, but I could have been writing instead of i-chatting about [Hideki] Okajima with Jon Heyman. Not to mention the salt-and-cracked-pepper kettle cooked potato chips. A pleasant flying experience, AirTran -- and that's a rarity these days.
Why doesn't it surprise me that instead of doing actual NFL writing, SI's leading NFL writer spent his valuable time chatting baseball...
d. Coffeenerdness: There might not be a better cup of coffee in the world than Starbucks Italian Roast. Haven't had it in some time, maybe a year. And just the smell of it brewing Sunday was fantastic. Dark and delicious.
Dark and delicious. Like a three-way with Favre and Jeter...
g. A few column notes as we get the season revved up: I'll be starting a new column this week. The column will last through the end of the playoffs and will be posted on SI.com each Friday. It's going to be a look ahead at some aspect of what I find compelling about the weekend's games, along with a few other departments. You'll be able to plow through it a little easier than the Monday monster, though. The Friday column will be 1,000 to 1,200 words.
Shit on a stick. My head is going to explode. I can't handle so much fail from one writer. But what about your picks Peter? Can't I make fun of those as well??
One last thing: I'll also be making my annual game-by-game picks and posting that column by Thursday for the Peter King Pickoff Challenge. I believe half the free world beat me last year, and the reason the other half didn't beat me is because they didn't enter the contest. Anyway, we're doing it again, and you can win cool stuff just by kicking my prognosticating behind.
Ah yes. He really is the gift that keeps on giving. Thank you Jolly Green Giant. I can continue with actual work now...
* image courtesy of Picture is Unrelated |