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You know, I don't want to constantly be writing about Peter King and his failures in life. I really don't. This site was supposed to tell swashbuckling tales about the time I spent working at sports books and I was going to spend my days poking fun at people who suck at betting and at fantasy sports. See, it even says so in that snazzy "About the Site" box thingie...
But alas, Captain Cholesterol ropes me in once again. Remember how miffed he was when Brett Favre abruptly joined the Vikes?? Hold on, let me just find some of his "tweets" that he tweeted (?) after the youthful land worker decided he'd grace us again with his presence under center. Oh, here's one. Ah yes, this will do as well.
MMQB Tuesday, up by 1 pm: This is now officially a circus. Favre wishy-washiest player in memory, Vikes his enablers. This is ridiculous.
I actually tipped my cap to Chuck E. Cheese after he wrote that.
Childress better get ready for a storm of criticism, because he'll get it. Deservedly.
Yes, Count Chocula was seething. He wasn't happy at all. Favre wasn't honest to him. Didn't see it coming. Vikings will regret. That was the general feel of what he was writing. Other sites had columns on how King "fell out of love" with Favre. But worry not, Brett's coffee flavored gooch was too much for Peter to resist.
For the first time in his life, the odds might be against him lasting 16 games. But if he can, some pretty special things could happen. That was evident in the first quarter against Houston. On the first scrimmage play of the game, Favre turned and handed to the best running back in the league, Adrian Peterson, and Peterson cut right, planted his foot and won a footrace up the right sideline for a 75-yard touchdown. On the ensuing series, the Vikings' stout run defense stopped Steve Slaton twice, and Jared Allen sacked Matt Schaub. Three and out.
Note that all Favre did during that span was hand off the ball to best fucking running back in football. Props to Peter though for making it seem like Favre was the reason that Jared Allen got the sack and that mount Williams stuffed Steve Slaton. Let's just forget that Peterson, Allen and the Williams twins are 4 of the best at their respective positions. THEY MADE THOSE PLAYS BECAUSE FAVRE IS LIKE A KID OUT THERE.
Two Wildcat direct snaps to rookie phenom Percy Harvin ... 11 rushes for 117 yards by Peterson ... 2.7 yards per opponents' rush, thanks to Kevin and Pat Williams stuffing anything that ran ... and Favre 's 13-of-18 passing in seven Viking series. That's what Favre needs to be: a good, complementary player who doesn't turn it over and who moves the chains, and who, occasionally, make one of the old Favre-type plays. Now, America, can you see why Brett Favre wanted to play for this Minnesota team so much?
See America?? I told you that this was a GREAT move by the Vikings. Shame on you for doubting him and getting mad at him when he clearly HAS SO MUCH FUN OUT THERE. What? He lied to everyone again? He played that retirement/non-retirement game again? He made a mockery out of training camp? Boondoggle. All I see is a man who gave Adrian Peterson THE BEST HAND OFF he's ever gotten!!! Eleventy!!11!!!1111.
Monday night was the five-week anniversary of Favre turning down the Vikings and saying he was staying retired. "I passed up the greatest chance I could have had right now, and it hurts,'' a downcast Favre said that night. Three weeks later he unretired, and two weeks into his second comeback, Favre showed how well he fit with the Vikings, who clearly -- if they stay healthy -- are strong Super Bowl contenders.
Wait. Let me think about Favre for a second here... Sore ribs? Check. Partially torn rotator cuff? Check. Chronically sore ankles? Check. Skipped training camp and is trying to learn a new offense and new teammates in a few pre-season games? Check. All-time leader in interceptions? Check. Ruined the Jets' season last year? Check. Trying to play quarterback in the NFL at the age of fucking forty? Check and check.
Yes, these are all things that I want from my starting quarterback in the NFL. (That and a Derek Jeter jersey.) This is exactly the man who I want to run my "Super Bowl caliber" team. Seriously Peter, go get fucked. Same goes for you, you land working piece of shit.
* Image courtesy of Picture is Unrelated. |
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