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Oh Shit. Oh Christ. Football season is officially underway. For the coming months, my weekends will be filled with glorious, meaningful, ass-pounding football.
Hold on, let me just let that sink in a little...
Oh fuck. Excuse me while I punch a toddler...
By the way, I'm a Miami Hurricanes fan. That means that I dress like this and that I watch this video every day. Oh, and I also like to use the word "pwned". If that doesn't paint an accurate picture, I don't know what will.
Either way, my 'Canes will kick off their season tomorrow night against Florida State in a game that would be much more interesting if it was played a few years ago. In the state of Florida it's currently all about the Gators. Some people have Tebow's dick so far down their throat that it's not even funny. And in the ACC it's all about Virginia Tech and "Beamer Ball".
Yeah, fuck Beamer Ball. How's about actually having an offense one of these years?? Watching VTech on offense is like crawling on the sun. As a Dolphins fan I never thought I'd say this but thank you Nick Saban. None of that undefeated bullshit talk anymore. Go learn how to execute a forward pass first...
But while the Miami-FSU game might not be the headliner that it used to be, Miami and Florida State fans still hate the living shit out of each other. The 'Canes could go 1-11, but if that one win is against FSU, it's a successful season. And I'm pretty sure that it's the same on the other side of the fence.
In years past I would be walking around right now with sharp weapons, telling everyone how awesome Miami is and how they will destroy your liver, but I've accepted their mediocrity. Georgia Tech makes my balls shrink, I'm ecstatic if we manage to beat North Carolina and I fully expect Florida State to beat us like Shawne Merriman beats Tila Tequila.
Whatever. Football is back and it feels fucking awesome.
* image courtesy of I-Am-Bored |